Sorry for breathing!

 

Image

Don’t you love this photo?

I have found myself SO INSECURE lately and it is driving me nuts. Absolutely nuts. I’ve had two days of binging now, or what I would consider binging, and I’ve taken an already insecure mindset and set it on fire. Whoo-hooo! Because I needed some help in that area: Extreme insecurity.

Here are some of my favorite things I do when I’m insecure:

Body checking: clearly my bones have disappeared, my collarbone is nowhere in sight, has my face ballooned up? WHERE IS MY COLLARBONE?

Internet checking: how bad am I compared to everyone else? Oh. Shit.

Friend checking: Are you mad at me? Just checking to see if you’re mad at me because you didn’t respond to my text 2 seconds after I wrote it.

Boyfriend checking: Are you SURE you’re all right? (translation: do you hate me? Am I too huge to date any more? You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?)

Surreptitious work checking: Hi ___, just want to make sure you received my revisions. (translation: are they OK? Will you ever hire me again?)

This is so fun, this insecurity!! It’s like a freight train when it hits and it’s hard to even walk around your day. I feel like mine manifests as either anxious (where the above list fits in), or depressive, where I just give up and stare at a wall. Either one is not fun. Right now, I’m vibrating with the anxiety of it all. Ain’t nobody having fun with that.

So, anyone out there who can relate to this post? What are some things you do to combat this constant need for reassurance? Ideas? I’d love to hear from you.

Also, are you mad at me?

🙂

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About kickingitedstyle

I am a thirty-something ass kicker who also happens to have an ED. And two cats. And an awesome boyfriend, etc.

2 responses to “Sorry for breathing!

  1. ephemeralana

    I get insecure too. wish I had the magic answer to it. I tend to ask for reassurance in various ways.

  2. i know the feeling, try to stay away from mirrors as much as possible til you feel better, i have to do that, especially the long ones lol and sometimes feel better by the next day,

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