My boyfriend took the scale. Anxiety has spiked.
He does it out of love, but I am still so angry with him. Because here’s the thing: I can’t DO ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!!! I ate this weekend–a lot–and I feel huge and I can’t fit into my clothes any more so I wear sweats all the time. And my boyfriend is not attracted to me and now I can’t figure out at exactly what weight I become attractive again. So, I’m in this limbo land without a scale and no way to get another one.
I’m so tired of this fucking ankle and not being able to do anything. I’m so tired of hating myself and my body. It’s exhausting. I would like to feel attractive again. For just a little bit. I’d like to feel worth something.
This is a depressing post and I’m sorry. Next one will be more uplifting–I promise.